New Year's Resolutions

I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions; they just kind of occur to me some time in the new year and I am off and running. (Oftentimes literally.) Last year, on a whim early in January I decided to start doing Weight Watchers. Little Ladybug was just four months old and I had started Pilates and begun to get back in shape but knew that for me, the accountability in recording my points worked. With Weight Watchers, Pilates, and a dedication to healthy living and eating, I far surpassed the "goal" that I set for myself. In a year, I have lost 35 pounds, gone from a size 12 to a size 2, and am in by far the best shape of my life. I have been on the maintenance plan for 6 months and still use WW as a tool for holding myself accountable. I run faster than I ever thought that I could and feel great doing so. My heart and my body are strong, and I am so much more flexible and than I ever imagined that I could be. I am even more coordinated and graceful than before (but that isn't saying much!) In 2009, I dedicated myself to this goal of total fitness and I have accomplished it.

However, somewhere along the line, I became so focused on myself and what I needed to do to attain my goals that I stopped focusing on those two little people who are my heart's joy. I have always subscribed to the "put your own mask on first" theory of mothering, but lately I haven't been ensuring that theirs are on right at all. Over the past few months I have found myself being increasingly short tempered and exasperated with the two of them, and they do not deserve that. They are great kids, magical even, and it is my job to nurture them at every stage and help them to grow into incredible people. Christmas week really made it clear that my patience for my two amazing children has been in short supply and that it was making us all miserable. Yet, I didn't know that I was going to make a change until I just up and did it.

At some point on January 1, I had a lightbulb moment! I realized that if I could transform my body, my eating habits, my health and my fitness just by focusing really hard, I could certainly put that much effort into having patience for my kids. So, all of a sudden, I slowed down. I have been feeling for months like I am a bouncy ball going in every direction and not able to control my energy or focus my attention. Well, I am now making a conscious effort to be more still, more present in everything, but especially in my parenting. I keep taking a deep breath before reacting instead of flying off the handle. I am trying to not sweat the small stuff. When my kids need my attention, I am giving it to them instead of saying, "one minute." When they spill something, I am saying, "no big deal, let's get a towel" instead of flying off the handle. I am trying to put the computer down when they are up. More than anything, I am trying to be more present.

Some of this, I believe, comes from expanding my yoga practice lately and concentrating on meditating and breathing. And, some of this, I truly think, comes from the chia. I have always gotten bitchy when my blood sugar got low, and the chia is helping me to avoid those blood sugar dips. Mean Mommy does not come out as often when her tank is not on empty.

Another resolution actually came to me a few months ago when I went to an amazing U2 concert. For that concert, I ate some "special brownies" and had a fantastic night. During the concert, I sent myself an email that said, "I don't need Lexapro; I just need music". With little kids around, I am so used to having the TV tuned to Noggin in the background or to talking on the phone in the car. However, rock and roll has always been a huge part of my life and makes me truly happy! So, I am trying to play music, introduce my kids to the songs that I love, and feel the joy that it brings.

Now I am trying to figure out my BHAG. I have been toying with the idea of doing Pilates teacher certification. Lately, I have considered doing yoga teacher certification as well. Also, I am in the lottery for the 2010 NYC marathon and there is a part of me that wants to do some great runs and has the dream of qualifying for Boston. Some friends have suggested that I do some tris, but they scare the shit out of me. . . which makes me think that I should do them.

And then, and then . . . I was thinking the other day that I should find a way to combine my passion for cooking and eating with my dedication to health and fitness. I have learned to cook healthy, fresh and truly delicious food with ingredients that I had never used before this year. Things like beets, fennel, quinoa, chia are brand new to me and so exciting. I want to share my enthusiasm with others. I have done so much baking in the past few months, but then I have given it away. Great, so I didn't eat it, but I was contributing to making others unhealthy, (especially my husband who eats at least two portions of everything I make.) I want people to be more healthy and help them feel good; baked goods will have to be for special occasions, not a weekly occurance. So, I am trying to figure out a way to bring my passion for healthy living to others. Stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, I will be putting more healthy recipes and fewer baked goods on my blog. Everyone needs a treat sometime, so while I am not swearing off baking by any means, sweets will no longer be the be all and end all of this blog.

Breathe . . .

Tolerant Cookies

I know, I know, I have lots of blogging to catch up on! There is much to share, and it is all coming, I promise! Despite the NOT luxury house, we had a fabulous time in Vermont and I will share more details and photos soon. However, coming home is always hard because not only is the vacation over, but catching up and getting back to normal takes me a few days.

Anyways, front of mind first. For me, that is, as usual, food! Lately I have been having a great deal of "tummy" trouble and it seemed to get much worse over the past few weeks. In researching my problem, I found that two likely culprits are dairy and wheat. So, for a while I am going to cut both out of my diet and try to see if I do better. I have also added some digestive enzymes to my regular probiotic supplements. I am seeing some relief of my symptoms, so I will continue this for a few more days and then re-evaluate and try to slowly re-introduce the foods I have cut out. Meanwhile, the biggest challenge for me is finding a way to satisfy my need for a chocolate treat every day.

So, of course, enter google (my very best friend). I searched "wheat free dairy free desserts" and saw something about fudge and oatmeal, two of my favorite things. I knew that it was only 9 in the morning and I had lots to do today, but these were so easy that I tried them right away!

Serves: 18

Ingredients:

2/3 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup vegetable oil
5 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 cup rolled oats
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

In a saucepan over medium heat combine the maple syrup, oil, cocoa and cinnamon. Boil for three minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in the peanut butter, rolled oats and vanilla until well blended. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto waxed paper and chill to set, about 30 minutes.

First of all, maple syrup is definitely on my list of kitchen staples. I put it in everything from salad dressing to sauces for a deep, rich, sweet taste. Oatmeal is my best friend; it has branched out from my daily breakfast to be my go to grain even before cutting out wheat. But, chocolate and peanut butter together!!!! Need I say more? (BTW, I am sure that you could substitute Sunbutter, almond butter, etc if you wanted or had a peanut allergy.)

I used reduced fat peanut butter but otherwise followed the recipe to a "T". With that substitution, each one is just about 150 calories and only 2 weight watcher points (how very Hungry Girl of me!)

Summer Cravings

It is so f-ing hot here! When I step outside, I often get the feeling that there must be an oven or a furnace open and if I take a couple of more steps, it will return to normal. But then I realize that, no, all of outside is an oven or furnace and this is normal until at least October. Just disgustingly, brutally, stickily hot.

Last summer I was very pregnant and it was so much worse. I would often say, "I hate outside!" after just exposing myself for a few seconds. This year is much better; I can bear it for a few minutes at a time. However, I realize that my constant cravings from last summer had much less to do with pregnancy and more to do with trying to stay hydrated and refreshed. I managed to not gain a ridiculous amount of weight with my last pregnancy because it was just too hot to eat and all I wanted to do was eat watermelon and drink lemonade (and sleep . . . )

Well, thank goodness I am not pregnant this summer (and NEVER plan to be so ever again. I am not a good pregnant person. I have two amazing little kids. But I digress . . . ) Still, I find myself once again only wanting to eat watermelon and drink lemonade. Local watermelons are in season and I am getting one weekly at the farmer's market and cutting it up to snack on all week. Pretty healthy, though all of the sugar in it does add up when I am eating plate after plate of it. Luckily, I have found a very lo-cal way of satisfying my lemonade craving. Chick-fil-a makes diet lemonade with that is so good! It has the perfect puckering tartness, real pieces of lemon, and is sweetened with Splenda, my very favorite calorie free sweetener.

In the past week, I have gone through their drive-through daily to get my large diet lemonade. It has become quite the addiction. So, yesterday after grocery shopping, I pulled in only to see that they were closed. The horror! Who ever heard of a fast food joint being closed on a Sunday? F-ing Bible belt! So, today I got smart. I got in line at the drive through and ordered a gallon to go. Now I don't have to worry about them being closed and can quench my thirst and my craving any time I want.

On another note, I hope that someday they don't find that Splenda will kill you because I will be a goner for sure!

Weight Watching

I love food.  Reading about it, shopping for it, finding new places to eat, reading restaurant reviews, planning meals, cooking, baking, and especially eating.  I subscribe to and read all of the major food magazines and collect cookbooks.  I watch Food Network and love Top Chef. When I cook, I usually try to buy the best quality, most flavorful and freshest ingredients. I love trying new restaurants and enjoy nothing more than a tasting menu for sampling what the chef thinks are the best things to put out. I like to think of myself as a foodie. 

Recently, I have had to temper my inner foodie.  In the past few months, I have successfully lost all of my baby weight plus twenty five pounds, and I have never felt better.  I have not and will not give up my passion for food.  Mostly, I have trained myself to make better food choices, to have small portions of the things I love, and to splurge when something is really splurge worthy (hello, recent meals at Feast and Da Marco) or when on vacation (I'm looking at you Eric Ripert).  I have done all of this successfully by following the weight watchers plan.  Without going to a single meeting, I have access to all of the tools available.  

Basically, though, the keys to my "success" have been:

1.  Write down what I eat and don't cheat.  If I have three m&m's from my son's "potty prizes", I write it down.  I am accountable to myself and so I have learned that bites here and there add up.

2.  The more fiber the better.  Higher fiber content makes foods lower in points values and more filling.  So, I try to choose whole foods like fruits, vegetables and whole grain breads and pastas.  Vegetables (for the most part) have no points, so I have learned to snack on them more than anything else.

3.  Steel cut oatmeal every morning.  Every day for breakfast I have a bowl of steel cut oatmeal and a large latte that I make on my beloved nespresso machine. This fills me up all morning.

4.  Save some points for a small treat every night.  I have a sweet tooth and must have dessert. (If I have baked something fabulous, like the Paula Deen's caramel cake that I made for MrRuckus's birthday, I will, of course choose a tiny sliver of this. )  Otherwise it is a skinny cow ice cream sandwich or a jell-o sugar free dulce de leche pudding.  If I am out of points, I drink cup after cup of naturally sweet Aveda Comforting Tea. MrRuckus thinks that this makes my breath smell like I have been partaking in some marijuana inhalation.  No wonder I like it so much!

5.  Sriracha, or thai hot sauce, is the greatest condiment ever.   I put this on everything that is not sweet and it adds so much flavor with no calories.

6.  Water water water.  I drink at least a gallon a day, two if I am going to go to Bikram.

7.  Pilates Reformer works.  I am so much stronger, leaner and faster thanks to my twice weekly training on the reformer.  

8.  Breastfeeding burns a lot of calories each day.  Thank goodness for, as my friend "K" puts it, my "little calorie sucker".  I guess the little ladybug will be nursing for a while.